My madness

Around two years ago, someone told me that my life had always been in repeating mode. That was because id never learned from my mistake, he said. Because unlike other girls, i was reckless, wild, and could not be tamed. I did what i wanted to do, without considering the risks, the dangers, and what bad causes might have inflicted me.

That person now has gone. Out of the picture, and ive never met him again. Today, two years ago was exactly the last time i met him. However, i still keep so many dialogues, lines, sentences, and things he said to me.

And one of them is the above.

He was saying the truth..

I keep repeating my mistake without learning. I keep falling to the same hole. I keep crashing myself to the wall.

But why..?

I dont understand.

 Probably because if i were some kind of engine, there were too many broken parts inside of me. Probably those broken parts are unrepairable. Not even by the hands of a master.

Or probably because the engine itself is exhausted. It just coudnt be functioned properly anymore

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