I am not a nice person

I am not a nice person. And wouldnt dare to say that i am. I hate many things, i hate many people, those who are around me or not.
I grew up with so many angers, but most of the times i had to shove it deep inside. Things just have never let me and have never allowed me to let all the rage out.
I have had to accept many things i dont want, and have had to accept that i can not have what i want. I dont accept it willingly. I just have to. I am forced to accept it.

I need love. I need people. However i hate to admit it, i know i have been always lonely. There are times when i thought i had people who were there for me, but most of the times it was only lip service, or they just left, carelessly.

I might have pushed people away, i might have not trusted them.

But all i know, people arent really there…
But then again, since i am really not a nice person, how could people be there..

And to think of it, reading what ive written here, i am more sounded like an asshole than just a not nice person.. Then to be lonely and alone is what i deserve


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