me, justificating

Good-byes make you think, they make you realize what you’ve had, what you’ve lost, and what you’ve taken for granted.

Whenever there is a hello, there is always a good bye. It is an old saying, but unfortunately it is what it is.

It is easy to rely on the saying, it is easy to rely on the time. To say that time changes and makes people change. The reason why we have to say good bye.

But knowing deep inside that it wasn’t the time that causes the good bye, knowing deep inside that it is your own mistakes  that have brought the good bye, is not an easy thing.

Forever i will always blame myself for causing this. And forever I will never forgive myself

But forcing myself, forcing the situation, forcing what has not already there to be still there, have been my choice for all these years, and have left me running out of energy, and wasted. It is just time to surrender

Saying that this is the best way for both of us.probably the most unfair statement. It has never been best for both of us, and certainly the worst for our children. And maybe our family.

But God knows how I’ve tried. And God knows it is impossible for me or him to stay.

We have been selfish, I have been selfish. But happy parents bring happy children. And sad troubled parents, will bring sad troubled children. The least thing i want to have is the situation where my children seeing all the wrong things between us, and finally inherit them. I never want my children to be me. This good bye, this separation, hopefully makes us better person, makes me a better mother.

And hopefully God gives us the easy way on handling this

I am justificating, I know…

 

PS : Thank you my Husband. You have been a great husband, and have given me so much.. It is time for you to take and get what you deserve. And it is certainly not me. Best of luck to you

 

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3 Responses to “me, justificating”

  1. setiap ada pertemuan pasti ada perpisahan, setiap ada perpisahan pasti ada makan-makan, yg gue tau sih itu bro 🙂

  2. Eny, I think you see it wrong. Don’t say that he deserve better, as if you are no better woman. Well, you are. Don’t low yourself like that.

    Simply just say, you and him, both deserve better lives. If either of you giving up to provide this “better life” thing, then you, or him, should walk away. For good.

    But DAMN!!! I wish I could do the same!! I wish I am as brave as you in this department. 😦

  3. There’s always a reason behind every scene of our life. Stay strong. You are independent woman and mother, just think about them while you’re struggling for success. Enjoy life as it is. Do not look back as you’ll get stuck. You need some times to re-balance your life, and after that you’ll be totally relieved. If you need an ear, I’ll be here.

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